Ugh.

Wow, talk about a month of slacking...

Between the busted up knee and some serious crisis moments recently I've either not been on the bike at all or not tracking what I rode, which admittedly wasn't much. (Like today; I rode 1 mile.)

I do, however, have plans to get back into the swing of things starting the September 1. I'd start tomorrow but there's supposed to be contractors here to, basically, rebuilding the bathroom in this apartment and it's going to be rather chaotic. Depending on how things go on Thursday, I may try to ride a mile tomorrow night or I may just drop into bed and sob myself to sleep.

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Sigh. On hold while I nurse my knee

A few weeks ago I slipped and twisted my knee a little bit. A normal knee would have shrugged it off after a few days, but no, not my knee.



In the early fall of 1987 I was in a car accident that left both my knees quite temperamental. They don't tolerate much of anything and have the tendency to swell and stiffen just because they want to. Actually abuse them in any way (such as slipping on a damp floor and twisting them) and they get downright cranky.

Since the day I slipped, it's been an ongoing battle with me looking like I'm smuggling a softball where my knee should be on most days. Needless to say, bike riding is not so much of an option on those days. Walking is enough of a strain on my poor abused knee. So, the Virtual Tour is on hold until I can coax my knee into tolerating me being on the bike again.

And let me just say for the record, this sucks and I'm not happy about it at all.

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Checkpoint - 26 miles

I was a total slacker today. I only did four miles tonight after dinner. I'm still in Jamestown, VA and only three miles away from Chickahominy River, VA. This is where I'm at now:





I have a lot of thoughts twirling about inside my head but I'm not grasping anything too firmly just yet, so I'm heading to bed. Maybe I'll get things worked out in a day or three.

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Checkpoint - 22 miles

I didn't ride yesterday. Life was just wonky that way. However, after several hours of tossing and turning and not sleeping, I got up a little before midnight and rode 2 miles. I went back to bed, read for half an hour or so then slept. I didn't sleep well, but I slept.



This evening I rode 3 miles before cooking dinner, and then rode an additional 2 miles. I'm not sore, but I am tired. I think it's the not sleeping well lately. And not going to bed on time. Though I've been sleeping enough hours most nights, I've been going to bed at midnight or later each night, then sleeping later than I like in the mornings. I need to fix that.

Anyway...

I'm 7 miles from Chickahominy River, Virginia. This is what it looks like at 22 miles.

I think it might be time for bed now.

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Checkpoint - 15 miles

I rode 2 miles earlier in the afternoon then 3 more miles tonight after dinner. This afternoon's miles were... less easy... than they should have been, but I got almost no sleep last night. Factor in the not riding Saturday or Sunday, and yeah, I was surprised I made it two miles.



Tonight's miles were fairly easy. I planned on riding two miles, but felt strong enough to go to 2.5 when I hit 2. I ended up going three miles, and even then I think I could have gone another half mile without any real damage being done. I didn't want to push myself too hard, though, since I'm adding the morning ride to my routine.

So in all, I rode 5 more miles today. I'm in Williamsburg now and have 6.13 more miles to go before I hit Jamestown.

The picture is at the 14.8 mile mark.

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Weekend update

Normally this post would be on Saturday, but I was busy. And since it's so late tonight, I'll keep it short.



I didn't ride on Saturday or Sunday. While it was nowhere a lazy weekend for me, I decided it was better to take a day or two off. I plan to incorporate a morning ride into my days starting this week, so that I'm riding a few miles in the morning and a few miles in the evening. It may only happen a few days at first, but the whole idea is to build everything up slowly so that I don't hurt myself.

My weight as of Saturday morning was 275.6 pounds. Not a bad start at all.

And this is the map that shows the trail I'm taking all the way across the United States. The entire trip is 4063 miles. I've ridden 10 (that black dot is me). I have a loooong way to go.

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Checkpoint - 10 miles

Another 3.5 miles down the road brings me here:




I'm only 3 miles away from Williamsburg.

I can tell my stamina is building quickly. My period has me drained, but I rode easily tonight. By the time I hit three miles, I was still doing ok so instead of stopping I went on. The last quarter of a mile was a bit of a struggle, but still! Three and a half miles!

That's it for tonight. I'm distracted by Pan's Labyrinth.

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Checkpoint - 6.5 miles

Tonight's adventures took me another 2.5 miles down the road to here:




I believe I'm still in Yorktown, but I'm 6.5 miles away from Williamsburg, VA now. Yay me!

I rode at the usual resistance setting of 10 and kept the speed between 10 and 11 miles per hour. My thigh didn't cramp up at all, and I got only a little winded. My thighs did get a bit tight during the last half mile, but nothing too terribly painful.

I'm on my way to bed, and between the computer and bed I plan on doing some stretching.

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Checkpoint - 4 miles

Tonight I rode 2 miles straight. Again I had the bike's resistance set at 10, but this time I kept the speed between 10 and 11 miles per hour. I had no problems as far was breathing, getting hot or anything like that. I probably would have pushed myself to try for a third mile if I hadn't developed a stitch in my upper right thigh near the end of the second mile. The stitch eased up almost instantly once I stopped riding. I should probably start stretching or something before and after I ride.



I'm still in Yorktown, but there's only 9.10 miles to go before I'm in Williamsburg!

This is the 3.9 mile picture (they don't have a 4 mile picture):


Normally I wouldn't post the map, too, but since this is only the second day I'm still a little giddy and giggly about the black line showing how far I've gone.

This is the map of how far I've gone:


As final notes before I fall asleep watching the AFI 100 Years 100 Movies thing, I really don't expect to see any real change in weight for at least a week or more. I've set my first goal as to weigh 270 pounds by the end of July, 2007 because that should be fairly manageable without being too demanding on my joints or unrealistic. I'll be posting a weekly update on my actual weight on Saturdays. I still don't know if I want to post what I eat every day. That can get tedious, not to mention boring. And I believe that's it.

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Check Point - 2 miles

I took it rather easy on the exercise bike today. I did one mile earlier in the morning then a second mile after dinner. Both times I kept a steady pace of 10mph with a resistance setting of 10 (I don't know what that translates into, but it's a mid-range resistance on the bike).


I didn't want to push my legs or my joints too hard too fast, and although I didn't really feel any pain, there was a little strain and quiver in my thighs the second time but that faded rather quickly after I stopped riding. I did get a bit winded, though. Apparently my day to day activities haven't kept up my stamina. I'll take it slow while I build that up.

But! I rode two miles today. I'm still in Yorktown, Virginia.

This is the picture at 1 mile:


This is 2 miles:

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Virtual Tour Across America

This is the starting point for the virtual tour.

This is what that starting point - Yorktown, Virginia - looks like.

Later tonight I'll post my progress for today as well as pictures of my stopping point.

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Day 1

I am fat. Weighing in at 277, that's the pure and simple truth of it. And it's long past time to do something about that.

In 2005, I had a different weight loss journal and wrote the following words:

I don't really eat that badly, except that I tend not to eat. Besides skipping meals, I forget to eat. For days. Honestly, I do. Then when I do eat I sometimes over-eat to compensate for days of not eating. I do like the occasional Big Mac or slice of pizza, but it's not an every day thing for me. Combine the not eating/binge eating with more than a few years on medications that liked to add roughly 15-25 pounds a year to my body, a dead metabolism, and next to no real physical activity, and... well, the fat was bound to form. And it did. It just never really mattered to me.

The number of my weight is really unimportant to me. I don't really care how much I weigh. It's just a number. I don't even own a scale. If I want to know my weight, I hop onto the scale at the grocery store down the street. It's something I try to do at least once a week and actually accomplish once every month or two. That number means that little to me.

And it means so much to the rest of the world. I'll never understand that.

So why, if how much I weigh means so little to me, is this journal here?

Because I have a pair of jeans in the footlocker of my closet that I want to get back into. I have a little red dress that I want to wear again. I need to be able to record this transformation so that on "bad days" I can stop and look back and see that it's not just a waste of time and find the strength I need to remain focused. The journey is just as important as the destination, and while my weight doesn't matter to me, how I feel and fit into my clothes has become important to me again. Not... so that I look good for others, but so that I look on the outside like I feel inside.

It's time to end that internal/external conflict.

For no one else but myself.

That still holds true. Though I fell off the wagon and gained a bit of the weight back, it still holds true.

Things have changed, though. As I said, I've gained some weight and I now own a scale that lives in the bathroom. I try to remember to weigh myself everyday, but it's not a priority and I don't get obsessive about the numbers.

While glancing through my old journal, I also found the following:

I'm changing the way I do things. It's more of a lifestyle change, though I don't particularly like that phrasing either. It's too... trendy... for me. I don't want to spend the rest of my life walking around with a measuring cup, measuring spoons, tape measure, scale, calculator, and notebook in my purse (forget for the moment that I don't usually carry a purse) just so I can eat.

So what if I don't eat exactly x calories? So what if I eat four ounces of steak rather than three? Or...whatever. How long would I last before I snapped and killed someone in a raving fit of lunacy because they wanted me to eat something that I couldn't calculate the calories of accurately? And knowing me, I'd find a way to kill them with that measuring cup, measuring spoons, tape measure, scale and calculator. I'd keep the notebook to scribble down the details afterward.

It seems ridiculous to me to try and maintain that sort of regime when it comes to food. I don't see a point in training myself to measure every little thing to the nth degree while trying to lose weight only to have to retrain myself to a different way of eating and thinking later just to maintain the weight loss. Or be stuck measuring everything for the rest of my life. No, I can't see it. I'll just start from the beginning, relearning to eat properly. More or less. If nothing else, I'm training myself from the start to be consciously aware of portion sizes. Without the constant measuring.

Without that dependency.

Again, that holds true. And that's what I'm going to start doing again. Yes, I want to lose weight, but I also want to live my life and still enjoy food, not make eating a punishment or something difficult that I dread.

I don't know yet if I'll record my food here, though I may. I already record it (though not in any great detail) in a notebook for my next doctor visit. Recording it here would be redundant, and I'm not sure it's important enough to bother. But I could be wrong. Having all the information in one place may be helpful, and copying it into my nightly entries would add but a few minutes to my blogging time. It's something I'll have to consider.

As for the exercising, I'm doing the virtual tour across America, and with any luck I'll be able to utilize the exercise tapes and dvds I have. But that comes later. Also, in the fall (when the weather becomes less oppressive) I plan to start walking again. Maybe I'll do the virtual tour across America for that, too.

No matter what I end up doing, because my plans will undoubtedly change as my body changes, I'm up for the challenge. I'll take it all one step at a time, though, because I know better than to rush things. This isn't just about shedding a bunch of fat, it's a journey to becoming healthier and fitter.

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